Woody Allen

Woody Allen

American author, actor, director and producer
1 December 1935 —

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I`m not anti-social. I`m just not social.

The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.

Life doesn`t imitate art, it imitates bad television.

To you I’m an atheist; to God, I’m the Loyal Opposition.

[He] hated reality but realized it was still the only place to get a good steak.

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss Bank.

God is silent, [...] now if we can only get Man to shut up.

I`m not afraid of death; I just don`t want to be there when it happens.

I have an intense desire to return to the womb - anybody`s.

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving.

My brain? That`s my second favorite organ.

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.

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