Funny Quotes

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You don`t really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around and why his parents always wave back.

William D. Tammeus

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Coward [is] one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.

Ambrose Bierce

If the road is easy, you`re likely going the wrong way.

Terry Goodkind

I have found men who didn`t know how to kiss. I`ve always found the time to teach them.

Mae West

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss Bank.

Woody Allen

4

You know you`re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

Bob Hope

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Darling, when things go wrong in life, you lift your chin, put on a ravishing smile, mix yourself a little cocktail.

Sophie Kinsella

4

The public would believe anything - so long as it is not founded on truth.

Edith Sitwell

Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain.

Dave Barry

4

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof [is] to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

Douglas Adams

An apology for the Devil: It must be remembered that we have only heard one side of the case. God has written all the books.

Samuel Butler

3

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.

Terry Pratchett

The definition of a beautiful woman is one who loves me.

Sloan Wilson

True friends stab you in the front.

Oscar Wilde

Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.

Doug Larson

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