Funny Quotes

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Just because you`re paranoid
Don`t mean they`re not after you.

Kurt Cobain

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Mark Twain

When you look like your passport photo, it`s time to go home.

Erma Bombeck

Do not take life too seriously - you will never get out of it alive.

Elbert Hubbard

Very few people do anything creative after the age of thirty-five. The reason is that very few people do anything creative before the age of thirty-five.

Joel Hildebrand

Death is only going to happen to you once; I don`t want to miss it.

Jim Morrison

Accept that some days you`re the pigeon, and some days you`re the statue.

Scott Adams

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.

Isaac Asimov

Making someone hate you so quickly [...] that`s a rare gift. Usually you have to know a person better first.

Nicholas Sparks

Alcohol may be man`s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

Frank Sinatra

5

Mosquitoes remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as we think.

Thomas Francis Wilson

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don`t need it.

Bob Hope

I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Jerome K. Jerome

I`m not afraid of death; I just don`t want to be there when it happens.

Woody Allen

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

Dick Gregory

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