Henny Youngmanstage name of Henry Youngman, English-born American comedian |
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.
A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn`t pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
I`ve been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she`ll kill me.