Woody Allen

I have an intense desire to return to the womb - anybody`s.

God is silent, [...] now if we can only get Man to shut up.

Life doesn`t imitate art, it imitates bad television.

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.

I`m not anti-social. I`m just not social.

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.

My relationship with death remains the same. I`m strongly against it.

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

My one regret in life is that I`m not someone else.

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.