Funny Quotes

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I`m naturally an extremely lazy person, so if someone did everything for me, I really think I would do nothing at all.

Keira Knightley

Given the choice between accomplishing something and just lying around, I`d rather lie around. No contest.

Eric Clapton

Once when I was lost, I saw a policeman, and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, "Do you think we`ll ever find them?" He said, "I don`t know kid. There are so many places they can hide."

Rodney Dangerfield

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There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

Woody Allen

I have great faith in fools - self-confidence my friends will call it.

Edgar Allan Poe

It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that it is more difficult to be witty every day than to say pretty things from time to time.

Honoré de Balzac

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Beware of the young doctor and the old barber.

Benjamin Franklin

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When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people.

Abraham Joshua Heschel

No one likes change but babies in diapers.

Barbara Johnson

All marriages are happy. It`s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.

Raymond Hull

I don`t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

Sam Kinison

If you think you`re too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito.

Anita Roddick

Bath twice a day to be really clean, once a day to be passably clean, once a week to avoid being a public menace.

Anthony Burgess

Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.

Anthony Burgess

School is practice for future life, practice makes perfect and nobodys perfect, so why practice?

Billie Joe Armstrong

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