Funny Quotes


Just because you`re paranoid
Don`t mean they`re not after you.

Kurt Cobain

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Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Mark Twain

When you look like your passport photo, it`s time to go home.

Erma Bombeck

Do not take life too seriously - you will never get out of it alive.

Elbert Hubbard

Very few people do anything creative after the age of thirty-five. The reason is that very few people do anything creative before the age of thirty-five.

Joel Hildebrand

Death is only going to happen to you once; I don`t want to miss it.

Jim Morrison

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Accept that some days you`re the pigeon, and some days you`re the statue.

Scott Adams

Mosquitoes remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as we think.

Thomas Francis Wilson

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.

Isaac Asimov

Making someone hate you so quickly [...] that`s a rare gift. Usually you have to know a person better first.

Nicholas Sparks

Alcohol may be man`s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

Frank Sinatra


A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don`t need it.

Bob Hope

I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Jerome K. Jerome

I`m not afraid of death; I just don`t want to be there when it happens.

Woody Allen

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

Dick Gregory


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