Funny Quotes
Summing up, it is clear the future holds great opportunities. It also holds pitfalls. The trick will be to avoid the pitfalls, seize the opportunities, and get back home by six o`clock.
Can we actually know the universe? My God, it`s hard enough finding your way around in Chinatown.
When we lose twenty pounds [...] we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty.
The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God`s mind - a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you`ve just made a down payment on a house.
When two people marry they become in the eyes of the law one person, and that one person is the husband!
Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Protect me from knowing what I don`t need to know. Protect me from even knowing that there are things to know that I don`t know. Protect me from knowing that I decided not to know about the things that I decided not to know about. Amen.
Years ago we discovered the exact point, the dead center of middle age. It occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush to the net.
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.
Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.
To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.