Funny Quotes

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Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen six, result happiness.

Charles Dickens

The question before the human race is, whether the God of nature shall govern the world by his own laws, or whether priests and kings shall rule it by fictitious miracles?

John Adams

If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life.

Oscar Wilde

To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler and less trouble.

Mark Twain

We are here on earth to do good for others. What the others are here for, I don`t know.

Wystan Hugh Auden

When a dog barks at the moon, then it is religion; but when he barks at strangers, it is patriotism!

David Starr Jordan

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.

Benjamin Franklin

My interest is in the future because I am going to spend the rest of my life there.

Charles Franklin Kettering

Great moments in science: Einstein discovers that time is actually money.

Gary Larson

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Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn`t have to do it himself.

A. H. Weiler

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A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Emo Philips

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My one regret in life is that I`m not someone else.

Woody Allen

Slang is a language that rolls up its sleeves, spits on its hands and goes to work.

Carl Sandburg

I`m fed up with democracy. In a democracy, people vote for the mayors. I wanted to build a city where I will choose the citizens.

Emir Kusturica

I`m naturally an extremely lazy person, so if someone did everything for me, I really think I would do nothing at all.

Keira Knightley

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